Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Confessions Of A B-Movie Addict #2

Like a lot of people, I grew up on a steady diet of '80s action movies. I know I'm not the only one who whiled away the hours watching the Beverly Hills Cop and Lethal Weapon franchises on HBO after getting home from school. Direct descendents of John Wayne, wise-cracking anti-heroes like Axel Foley and Martin Riggs drove sports cars, carried 9mm pistols, and blew away drug dealers, terrorists, and assorted sundry scumbags with finesse and instantly-quotable one-liners. A lot of really bad action movies made it to the screen in the '80s too, bereft of the hot-shot screenwriters, blockbuster budgets, and state-of-the-art special effects that made those classic films tick. Let me introduce you to perhaps the most unassuming action hero of all time: Leo Fong.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Wrong Con: An Education

I've spent a good portion of my life watching shitty movies and enjoying the crap out of them. There's nothing wrong with that. Once you've got your head wrapped around the idea that a movie is going to be awful, you can go with the flow, and enjoy it.

Outside of B-grade pictures, I have come to expect movies to be mediocre, even the ones I've been dying to see. I've just been burnt too many times, and I don't really feel all that cheated anymore.

Frustration sets in when I see a film that begins strongly, hooking me emotionally, only to flounder and let me down at the end. This is what An Education did to me, and I'm kind of pissed.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Hey Everyone! Here's A Dead Indie Musician For You to Canonize! Remembering Vic Chesnutt.

If there's one thing people on a whole seem to love to do, it's lionizing the dead, particularly the dead that die under tragic circumstances after leading what was, overall, a tragic life.

Few people lead a more tragic life than Vic Chesnutt. He became paraplegic at eighteen, after a car accident. He attempted suicide countless times and wrote about it frankly. On December 24th, he overdosed on muscle relaxers. After landing in a coma, Chesnutt died on Christmas day.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Making Concessions: Up In The Air

There are burdens we all bear, as good donkeys, to get to the bottom of the canyon, or wherever it is we're going. George Clooney raps about the straps of those burdens digging into your shoulders and makes one hell of a case for putting them down in Up In The Air.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Flower Is After You & The Monster Wants A Piece Of You, Too!.

Living in Amsterdam with his wife, Chubby, who hadn't produced a hit or released an album since '65, turned 30 in 1971. He was all grown up. Backed by an unknown Dutch psych band & Ed Chalpin, the scumbag who exploited the '64 Jimi Hendrix/Curtis Knight sessions, behind the board, Checker unleashed a psychedelic gospel soul testament. Fueled by grass, anger and the drive to transcend his white-bread-bubblegum-pop roots, Chubby created an LP that digs deep within his own soul and pulls out the ghosts of his past for all to witness.

Nine of the eleven tracks on this record about the moon are penned by the man himself, and he means every single word of it! Tons of Hammond goodness, Grand Funk/Terry Knight & The Pack-esque grooves, obvious Hendrix worship (there's a song called "Ballad of Jimi"), etc.

Given his squeaky clean image as the man who gave the world "The Twist," he is very wary about discussing this record with anyone. This is a cryin' shame because "Love Tunnel" is a perfect song that deserves to be played repeatedly.

Ted Clark, mastermind of the delicious 20th Century Tokyo Princess, is responsible for bringing this into my world, and now I bring it into yours! Get cozy, roast up a bone & enjoy!

Chubby Checker - "Chequered!" (1971, London)


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Confessions Of A B-Movie Addict

Hi, my name is Zach B. I like loud rock n' roll, cheap beer, cigarettes, celebrity gossip, and talking loudly in public places. Perhaps you've read my blog Random Old Records, or listened to the podcast of the same name. If not, then what the hell's wrong with you?! Well, today I'm not here to talk about garage rock, girl groups, or drinking in Cincinnati dive bars. I am unashamed and ready to make a confession about my obsession: bad movies. I absolutely LOVE awful, terrible movies. While other folks watch Raging Bull, Die Hard, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, The Royal Tenenbaums and others of that ilk on repeat, I go crazy over cheap sets, visible boom microphones, wooden acting, and plot holes you could drive a car through. Give me a trashy plot, gratuitous nudity, and/or graphic violence, and I'm a happy guy! In my eyes, the pinnacle of bad movie-making is the Angel Quadrilogy. What, you've never heard of it?! For shame!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Who's Ready To Have Some fun.?

Hello, fair citizens of the internet. My name is Amber Valentine and you may know me from stumbling around various bars in Cincinnati, talking loudly about how I just moved here from Chicago or, as I apparently say, "Chic-AHHHH-go". I was only in Chicago for two years yet somehow, soaked up an accent. Seems like I'm a sponge for those things. Now located dangerously close to Kentucky, I'm banking on procuring a slight southern accent within the next couple weeks.

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Seems that Christmas is on everyone's mind. If that's the case, I have plenty to talk about, but it takes me time to conjure memories because of the combination of ADD, drinking too much wine over the years and pre-Alzheimer's affecting my brain. I'm assuming this post will take longer than it should, but I don't care. What else do I have to do? Plenty, but that's neither here nor there.

Super Holiday Family Fun Movie Time!

Well, well, well... It's that time of year at Boil It First, when I head northward, to where my ancestors inexplicably stopped and settled. It's possible that, as fresh immigrants, they were unaware that there was a rest-of-the-country that bore a less-striking resemblance to the Arctic Tundra, but my parents really have no excuse.